Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Bye, NHL. For The Second, And Last, Time.



Dear Atlanta Spirit Group,

Thanks for Nothing.

Nothing is what you gave to the Thrashers franchise, and now, Nothing is what you have left for Atlanta hockey fans. It has been said, "You gotta spend money to make money." After over a decade, I still meet people who don't know that Atlanta has (I mean, had) an NHL team. Getting the product-name out into the world takes spending money. Money that you were not willing/prepared to spend, and a lot of corporations took note of that. Major corporate sponsors have been jumping ship for several years, and, that's all on you, Atlanta Spirit Group. It isn't just a question of your marketing skills, either. Lackluster personnel decisions have been a decade-long trademark, too. Yes, you signed Ilya Kovolchuk... Great. Bravo. You've also shown the professional sports world how not to run a franchise. Embarrassing. Thanks to your bungling, the idea that the NHL will ever return to Atlanta is almost laughable.

You're a bunch of morons.

Sincerely and with my humblest rage,
Daniel Jones

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Some More Haiku

I follow a Twitter feed of John F. Kennedy's actions, through 1961. After looking over the post history, I've come up with these haiku. These events, I believe, take place from February to May, 1961.


Statement to Soviet Union, regarding civil war in Laos:


To us, Laos matters!

I don't know the reason why.

Look, I'm jingling keys.


Cuba, Cuba, Cuba:


Revolution is good.

Man's will dictates its own path.

Freedom is the point.


Alan Shepard:


Put a man in space!

Well, I didn't, exactly...

America rocks!!


The, “President and the Press,” address:


I heart the press, true,

The pricks mingle too much, though.

Protect the country.


Negro voting rights:


Sipping my latte.

Damn you, Louisiana,

Nigga gotta vote!


More Cuba, Cuba, Cuba:


Cuba wants to front.

My finger on The Button....

Bitch, look up, “fruitless.”


Visit, and address, to Canada:


Keeping you in mind,

As allies, with benefits.

We are much better.