Saturday, December 01, 2012

The Laws Of The West.

                 We the people, of Tuesday Land, in order to form a more perfect 
                          world, establish these all-seeing, all-knowing, all-annoying--- 

                                                   LAWS OF THE WEST  
                           
                                             We have found these truths to be self-evident.  

1) Everyday is Tuesday.
2) Knowing is half the battle.
3) No, but I like duct tape.
4) I lost Atrioll.
5) Of course it's my camel!
6)I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
7) Sure you can, but, your vision will be impaired.
8) Zede shude, bebe!
9) Green cream!!
10) Hey! Leave my calculator outta this!
11) Yes, but do you have a hossenfeffer?
12) Blood may be thicker than water, but, slabs of concrete are thicker 
 than blood. 
13) Fred, the invisible, mute, cow is watching.
14)It is very.
15) PSSSSSSSSST!!!!
16) People are just God's drug induced hallucinations.
17) Hogjowl!?
18) 100% Hmmm!!
19) Afro-necro-pyro-klepto-nympho-maniacs should stay in the 
   saddle a little longer.
20) Who's in the mirror!?
21) I did not!!
22) He's busy with the chiropractor.
23) I saw a worm?
24) That's another Cosmic force........
25) The submarine who loved me!
26) Bruce is king of Fleaken.
27) Never climb a slippery backstop when a tractor is near.
28) Shana is obsessed with raw chicken.
29) You had that in your bag the whole time, didn't you!?
30) Billy Bob Joe Jim Bailey chews Juicy Fruit.
31) Bladders are a Swedish delicacy.
32) Holy moley, Loretta! Not only is it still there, look what it did
    to the end of my cornwallis!  
33) Jason Pittard's grandfather was hit by the Shamu blimp.
34) Drop the snarglewolf when you carry the one.
35) NO!!!
36) I'm not a dictator, I just have a grumpy face.
37) Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a walrus!
38) Yom Kippur!!!!
39) I have three words for you: ON! LY! ME!
40) I learned not to joke in China.
41) "Join us next week, here, on QUE LASTIMA!
42) The square root of ALL numbers is always equal to the hypotenuse
    of three triangles divided by 24, equaling 42, which is the answer
    to Life, the Universe, and Everything.
43) Buy Polish!
44) Squeeze from the bottom!
45) Shake gently before enjoying.
46) Amundsen successfully took the Norge over the pole.
47) Didn't she write, "The Challenges of the Quarry Worm?"
48) Dunne is over Unger, and Unger is under Dunne.
49) All children should be born by osmosis.
50) Tic-Tacs are armadillo larvae.
51) But, she has the opinion of a wolfrat.
52) It don't mean Pork Bellies!
53) What color was it!?
54) Headache? Try, Damnitall!
55) Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people here
    at the trailer-park.
56) It is forbidden!!
57) Life shrinks!
58) Everybody has to have a hobby.
59) I think ya mean Intense!
60) When in doubt, remember, corresponding parts of congruent
    triangles are always congruent.
61) I like Ike!
62) Feel my long pulsating finger.
63) Sheep eat men! Sheep eat men!
64) Varesol! .... new shoes!
65) No, you're anti-loquax!
66) LIAR!!
67) Luggajuggatoejam!
68) When speaking into a tube of toothpaste, be sure you have
    your knickers on.
69) No thanks, I'm trying to quit.
70) Mommy, it's my turn with the whip!
71) The Father, the Ghost, and the Holy Moley.
72) The sick and feeble were carried in wagons.
73) If lawyers were alcohol, only outlaws would have attorneys.
74) MEPS!
75) It tastes like Joe!
76) Everything is Joyboy's fault.
77) Spare armadillo, ma'am? Spare armadillo!?
78) Hey! Tea and crumpets!!
79) Newman says, "But, that's beside the point."
80) You'll get over it.


                1991-1995
                Daniel Jones
                Mark Coker
                Matt Flannery
                Jason Pittard
                Jason Jones
                Sean Persinger
                Brian Butts         
         
             

 

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